I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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