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• (937): View more from Ohio

  she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  it's love

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Barney's a jerk

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

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• (949): View more from California

  Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.

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