I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
