Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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