If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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