I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
