I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
