dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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