this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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