i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
