Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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