I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
