guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
