I don't think brook has ever known best
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
