dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
