Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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