I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
