I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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