apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
