he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
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5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
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I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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