Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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