All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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