Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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