yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
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My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize