would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
