Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
