My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
