oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
