Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
