we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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