It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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