Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
