ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize