I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
