We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
