There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
