Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
