just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
