It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The air was thick with penises
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
