I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
