It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
