i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
