I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
