my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize