NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
