I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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