one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
