He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
