Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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