I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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