they need to just BURY HIM!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
