Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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