He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
did i walk over a car last night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
