Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
