im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
