Yo dont text me then not text me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
