Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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