She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
