We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
