Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
no, he came in my armpit
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
