he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
