so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
