He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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